The people you surround yourself with can have a significant impact on how well you recover from trauma. Healthy relationships can enhance your progress and encourage you to stay on course. When you’re in a healthy relationship, the other person will respect your boundaries and support you, which will help to keep you focused. Unhealthy or toxic relationships can derail your efforts, making a recovery more complicated than it has been, and can cause more health problems. Healing Foundations Center is committed to helping people recover from trauma and build healthy relationships to help them have a healthy and successful life.
We’ll discuss the importance of healthy relationships and some red flags that indicate you should set boundaries if your relationship is not helping you recover.
The Importance of Healthy Relationships
Healthy relationships are important because of the many benefits they bring to the trauma recovery process. Here are some reasons why you’ll want to foster healthy relationships.[1]
Less Stress
Knowing that someone loves and supports you can help to protect against stress. Studies show that being in a committed, healthy relationship is linked to a lower production of the stress hormone cortisol.[1]
Establish Healthier Behaviors
If you have someone in your corner who is engaging in healthy behavior, you may be more likely to do the same. They may also encourage you to join them in their activities. Living a healthy lifestyle is much easier when you are around others doing the same.
Provide a Sense of Purpose
When you’re in a healthy relationship, you can develop a greater sense of purpose and well-being. Having a sense of purpose can help you stay focused as you learn to recover from trauma.
Signs You Need to Establish Boundaries
While everyone wants to reap the benefits of healthy relationships, not all are good for us. Many relationships can be toxic and interfere with how we recover from trauma. Setting boundaries in these relationships is one way to prevent these toxic relationships from forming.
Establishing relationship boundaries can help build respect and trust and prevent yourself from being taken advantage of. By establishing boundaries, you can communicate more effectively so that everyone is on the same page about what needs to happen in the relationship.
Here are several red flags that you need to set boundaries:
Irritability
You may feel irritable if you’re always giving up on a relationship and not getting what you need. When you’re not taking time to care for yourself because you’re always helping someone else, you don’t have time to rest and recharge. This is especially important when trying to recover from trauma, as the body and mind need time to heal.
Exhaustion
Some relationships can be exhausting emotionally, mentally, and physically. If you feel like your relationship is pulling you in every direction except the one you should be following, you may begin to feel exhausted.
Avoidance Due to Resentment
If you begin to avoid someone because of the resentment you feel toward them, that’s a clear sign it’s time to set boundaries. The other person may be crossing boundaries you’ve set but have not yet verbally expressed, causing resentment.
Trouble Saying No
Many of us are people pleasers and will also say “yes” to any request. This allows the other person in the relationship to walk all over you.
Losing a Sense of Self
Without boundaries, we can lose who we are. When there are no boundaries, we’re doing what others always want of us, not what feels true to us.
How to Set Boundaries in Relationships
Once you’ve recognized the signs that you need to set boundaries in your relationships, it’s time to get to work. Here are some ways to get started:
Know What Your Boundaries Are
You can’t set boundaries if you don’t know what they are. Decide what makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Once you’ve determined these factors, you must then decide what the consequences will be once those boundaries are crossed.
Communicate Your Boundaries
After you’ve set your boundaries, you need to communicate them to those around you. This may make you nervous, but it is a necessary step if you want to have healthy relationships. Be sure the person on the receiving end understands your boundaries and the consequences of crossing them.
When communicating your boundaries, use “I” statements. Express to the other person that “I need xxx, or I can’t allow you to do xxx.” This allows you to own your boundaries and make them more meaningful in the process.
Maintain Your Boundaries
While knowing and communicating your boundaries is essential, you must maintain them. Allowing someone to cross your boundaries once will only lead to them doing it again. Stick to your boundaries and the consequences when people cross them.
Know your Deal Breakers
While someone may cross your boundary and face a consequence, there should be other behavior that is a clear relationship breaker. If someone is aware of these deal breakers and still disrespects you and crosses them, then you know the relationship is not in your best interest and needs to end. This is best as you work to recover from trauma.
Seek Trauma Recovery at Healing Foundations Center
If you have experienced trauma, Healing Foundations Center is here to help. We offer trauma treatment services for people dealing with a variety of traumas. This includes traumatic events such as abuse, neglect, accidents, and war, among others. We employ various techniques, including weekly and small group therapy sessions, structural dissociation, somatic experiencing (SE), and Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). Our team develops an individual plan for each patient to have the best chance of recovery.
Contact the team at Healing Foundations Center today to learn more about the trauma treatment we provide to patients in Scottsdale, AZ.
Sources:
[1] https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/5-benefits-of-healthy-relationships